So...this happened last night. I went from long locks to clean shaven. As I stood in the shower after having my brother scalp me, I ran my hands over my head and it felt different. I felt different. And I wondered if I had any idea - clue - close proximity of what it's like to lose one's hair through treatment or natural progression of life. I don't know that I will ever know, but do feel I had a small glimpse of the loss that some people feel when their hair is gone.
You see - my hair had become - ok, probably always has been - a huge part of my identity. The streak as it's been called began when I was about 15 and has increased through time. Gradually, I've grown to love that silver streak in my hair and the fact that it's mine and makes me different from others. As I gulped (hard) when I saw the clippers in my brothers hand I had thoughts of being different because I no longer had it. Would it grow back? Would it be the same? Will my hair even really grow back? What if it doesn't? What if I don't like being bald or people don't like me?
WHOA...........Who really cares? Now that it's done, it doesn't really matter. I am who I am because of my heart, my mind, my beliefs - NOT because of my hair.
As we go through this journey of life, there are so many lessons to be learned, so many opportunities in front of us and it's important to grasp them, do what we can. Enjoy them. Relish in the experience. Connect with others. Learn and grown. Feel. It's really important to feel and for so long, I tried hard not to do that because I didn't have time. Because it was scarey. Because it didn't always feel good. The thing I've learned through all of that not feeling is that it is a good thing and it makes me a better person. I believe it will make everyone a better person, but that's up to each individual.
My choice to shave my head was just that, a choice. I don't know that I will keep it this way or that I will ever again do it voluntarily, but I took a leap of faith, overcame a fear and did it and it's all good. I feel good. And I'm grateful - so very, very grateful.
Enjoy this holiday weekend!
Kelley
You see - my hair had become - ok, probably always has been - a huge part of my identity. The streak as it's been called began when I was about 15 and has increased through time. Gradually, I've grown to love that silver streak in my hair and the fact that it's mine and makes me different from others. As I gulped (hard) when I saw the clippers in my brothers hand I had thoughts of being different because I no longer had it. Would it grow back? Would it be the same? Will my hair even really grow back? What if it doesn't? What if I don't like being bald or people don't like me?
WHOA...........Who really cares? Now that it's done, it doesn't really matter. I am who I am because of my heart, my mind, my beliefs - NOT because of my hair.
As we go through this journey of life, there are so many lessons to be learned, so many opportunities in front of us and it's important to grasp them, do what we can. Enjoy them. Relish in the experience. Connect with others. Learn and grown. Feel. It's really important to feel and for so long, I tried hard not to do that because I didn't have time. Because it was scarey. Because it didn't always feel good. The thing I've learned through all of that not feeling is that it is a good thing and it makes me a better person. I believe it will make everyone a better person, but that's up to each individual.
My choice to shave my head was just that, a choice. I don't know that I will keep it this way or that I will ever again do it voluntarily, but I took a leap of faith, overcame a fear and did it and it's all good. I feel good. And I'm grateful - so very, very grateful.
Enjoy this holiday weekend!
Kelley
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