It's been 5 years. Tears have come today, but so has laughter and gratitude and love. People say time heals, but when my sister left physically, I had someone hug me and say, "be patient with yourself, healing takes time." And that, it does.
Life goes on and we find our way into our new "normal" - whatever that may be. We go to school or work or group or church or whatever it is we do with our days, until it becomes routine again. Until we can get up and function again. Until we can appreciate the time we had with those who are not physically with us any longer.
I know I'm not alone in this. Healing does take time and with each day, a little more healing comes. Sometimes it seems like great strides have been made and other days, a wave hits and I feel reeled back to that very moment when i got the call. It's ok. That's the thing I'm learning in this life. All things take time. Sadness will come, but so will happiness. Anger will be present, but so will laughter and joy. Frustration appears, but so can patience. It's all a part of the process.
One of my sister's best childhood friends was married on this day in 1996. She text me yesterday saying that she had not forgotten the sadness today could bring, but chose to remember the happiness and laughter we all had together on this day 24 years ago. And that we did. We both laughed again yesterday and I smile as I type remembering the run to the store in order to get her some things to help with cramping and other issues she was having as nerves wrecked havoc on her body that morning. It was a good day.
There were a lot of good days in the 44 years my sister was here. There were other days too though and there have been a lot of good days since. There will be more good days to come.
But (and thankfully) the healing continues.
It's a beautiful spring morning today and although these pretty daffodils are not blooming in my yard yet, it won't be long and I'll have some of these yellow beauties to share with the world - or at least passers by.
For me, spring brings with it so many things, but mainly new opportunities and hope. Everything has laid dormant over the winter. Oh, sure, there are some things that spring to life during every season, but there is also a time for rest and that's what I consider winter. Ok - so, depending on the phase of your life - you may be laughing and thinking a time for rest would be welcome! HA! At any rate, nature takes a rest and allows things the opportunity to replenish, prepare for what lies ahead.
As such, it's something that we need to do for ourselves and often get so caught up with all the "busy-ness" of life. In being "busy" we forget that we, too, need to rest, relax, replenish. In all reality, self-care is not in any way a selfish act, but a necessary thing. If we do not take care of ourselves, it is much harder to take care of others. Our bodies break down. Our minds break down. Our souls can even break down.
How can this be fixed? How can you find the time? What about all those other duties and responsibilities? Well, it doesn't have to be hours that need to be set aside or even days. Perhaps it's simply rising a few minutes earlier and simply breathing in and out or meditating or having that first cup of coffee in peace. Perhaps it's taking a few minutes after the crazy morning routine of breakfast and spouses/children are off on their day. Perhaps it's actually getting up and stepping away from your desk for a few minutes and breathing in some fresh air. Perhaps it's something more grand - a day at the spa, a vacation, a weekend away, a drive through the countryside/mountains/coastline. Perhaps it's taking a moment to send a handwritten note to a friend, love one or even acquaintance. Simply put, it doesn't have to be something massive, but just a few moments - even one minute that you put everything aside and simply just be.
Give it a try. Let me know how it goes. I would love to hear what little or big things you do.
Take care of you
Choose Happiness. I think we probably all think about this at some point in our lives. What brings us happiness is the million dollar question though.
For some, it's a new car, a high paying salary, a big house, travel, beaches, mountains, etc. Some people search their entire lives for happiness and never find it while others just open their eyes and there it is.
My happiness has come from within. It's taken a long time to figure that out and there have definitely been some bumps along the way and not every day is perfect, but the smiles you see in these pictures are genuine. Spending time with this part of my tribe aids in bringing my life joy and for that, I am grateful.
It's been 16 days since I began living my life in Kansas and I won't tell you that I don't miss things about Denver because I do and I probably always will, but the trade off? The trade off has been worth it and I'm making a trip to Denver this weekend to get my fix there also so things are working out, I'd say. And I'm happy.
What have I been doing in the last 16 days, well........let me tell you. I've celebrated turning the big 5-0, celebrated one of my beautiful nieces turning 13 as well as her "gotcha" day. I've been to numerous basketball games for the girls and gotten to watch both of them play in the pep band at high school games. I was able to watch my nephew at wrestling practice and in a basketball tournament. I've been there to help with homework and hang out after school, take them to movies and have sleepovers. I went to an opening at the art gallery for a new artist and a book signing for the book "What's Right With Kansas" by the author, Ed O'Malley. My dad and I began a new weekly thing of going to breakfast yesterday and people thought I would not have much to do?!?! Oh, and...I've been doing massages - you know - that thing I do to be able to do all the other things I do. And - baking, experimenting in the kitchen and trying to make the house a home. All in all, I've been active and it's been great. I'm happy doing what I'm doing.
You see, to me, happiness isn't a destination, it isn't necessarily material or tangible, but it's that joy I feel when I see the smiles because I showed up. It's the feeling I get when I listen to someone or something inspiring. It's when the sun shines and I get to see and/or feel it. It's knowing that I'm doing the things I need to do in order to do the things I want to do with my life.
There will always be good days and bad days. There will always be joy and sadness. Life will always go on. It's what we choose to do in the time we're here that makes the difference. We have a choice, every single day and I choose happiness.
"Happiness is a choice – not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you." – Ralph Marston.
So, I'm not sure what happened, but I had words to go with the picture about beginnings and endings and somehow it didn't post. Somedays I'm more technologically challenged than others and apparently yesterday was one of those days! At any rate - let me try again...
As I pulled out of the driveway in Kansas on Wednesday with Regis as my co-pilot, I had a moment of realization that I would no longer be making that trip on a regular basis anymore as I have for several years. And when I walked into my office space, it really hit me. The doors of Hand in Hand at 815 are closing. A chapter is ending. There were fewer pictures on the walls and some of the furniture removed. Just as it was in the beginning. It was just four walls with a table in the center. That was how things started and that is how things will end.
I began the final process of taking things down/apart and getting ready to pack up last night. I will do some touch up painting today and get things loaded and tomorrow morning, I will turn in my keys. There is a bit of sadness in that fact, but there is also joy and gratitude. I have been #blessedbeyond measure with amazing clients, wonderful friends and a beautiful and warm place in which to do my work. A work that I had no idea I would enjoy so much or do as a career or for this long.
The thing is there will always be endings with beginnings and beginnings with endings. It's the circle/cycle of life. Things start and they end. It's the dash between that makes the difference.
Change is inevitable...Growth is optional...Enjoy both
Sometimes you just know. I'm sure you've heard that before in your life and I cannot tell you how many times I've heard it or even said it in mine - not really knowing if one ever really does know or if we just tell ourselves that we do.
I do know that the time has come for me to step away from my practice in Denver and move to St. Francis, KS where I can spend time with my nieces and nephew. It is there that I can help them carve jack o' lanterns (or just watch) and see the victories and defeats in their activities up close and personal.
Please know that this decision has not been reached easily or lightly as so many of you have become more than just clients, but family to me. We have built relationships. Watched one another grow and struggle. Helped eachother through highs and lows in life. I will miss you. I will miss things about life in the city, but feel this is the best decision for me at this point and, therefore, my last day in Denver will be December 31, 2018.
I thank you all for your belief, business, encouragement, faith, support and trust over the last nine years for without all of you - life would be so different.
I wish you all the very best!
C B D - What are your thoughts when you hear these three little letters?
As a resident of Colorado - where maijuana is legal - that's where my thoughts have gone - pot. Said sarcastically - oh great, another disguise of the getting high feeling. Please don't misunderstand, I am not necessarily against pot - it's just not my thing so I've not really paid much attention to the CBD industry and yet, I keep hearing those letters and getting info on it so decided I needed to take a closer look. And here's just the tip of what I've found....
CBD stand for Cannabidiol and is one of over 85 cannabinoids identified in the cannabis plant. It is becoming increasingly popular due to the wide scope of benefits and the few side effects as well as the lack of psychoactivity which is typically associated with marijuana and high THC.
The following video shares some of the great info and benefits of CBD
WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW............
So many things running through my mind over the last few days. The state of the country. The state of the world. What will I wear? What about my hair? What am I doing to help those around me? Am I making good and sound decisions for myself and others? Am I being a good person? Why is my coffee not hot? Who is right and who is wrong and who really knows? When is the next game? Is the laundry done? How can I make it to the 5 events I need to attend today (in different places)?
Just sayin'.............I warned you - lots of stuff floating around in that space above my neck and between my ears. And then this showed up, made me stop and think. About what I can do and here's what I came up with for the moment.
1) Say Thank You - While there are days it seems to be a lost art form, simply saying Thank You, means a great deal to the person whom you are saying it to and it's easy. Appreciate what someone does for you - just say thank you or take it a step further and send a Thank You note. I know, crazy concept, but so amazing for both parties.
2) Apologize when I'm wrong - Now, this one, can be a bit more tricky to do, but it's really not that hard. The thing that is important, however, is to truly apologize - not just say I'm sorry because we think it's the "right" thing to do.
3) Show up on time - Admittedly, this has been a thing I've had to work on (and continue to do so) my whole life. The thing is - one persons time is really not any more valuable than another's so just be respectful.
***I have to share a little side note here. I have a dear friend who is very punctual. On time to her means 15 minutes before said designated time and on time to me means sliding in on the last tick of the said designated time. I know it was frustrating for her when we would get together because in her mind, I was always late. In mine, she was always way early so......we've compromised and it's a thing we both worked on. We always enjoy our time together so she doesn't come quite as early and there have been a few times when I've actually arrived first! Win for both of us!
4) Be nice to strangers - "You never know the battles someone else is fighting, so be kind". That's literally one of the truest statements ever. We don't know what's happening to someone else or what has gone on in their day and it's nice to just be nice. What an amazing place this world might be??? A stranger is just a friend we haven't met.
5) Listen without interrupting - WHAT?!?!?! That's a crazy concept. I believe we've gotten to a point in this world where we really are not hearing what the other person is saying because the whole time they're speaking we're formulating a response and often times can't wait to jump in because our point is so incredibly right or important. Listen without interrupting - try it, you'll like it and perhaps we'll all learn something along the way.
6) Admit when I'm wrong - Are you kidding me? I was the most right "I know" person in the world for a huge part of my life. Well, let me just say, while it's humbling, it's also positive to simply say, I was wrong and I apologize and Thank you for still loving me.
7) Follow my dreams - I can follow my dreams, but I must allow myself to have the dreams and then set up some action steps in order to make them become reality. I think sometimes (at least for me) we get so caught up in the day to day that we forget to allow ourselves time to dream and believe and achieve. My dad has always told me that he is the dreamer and my mom is the doer. Somehow to make the dreams come true - I'm working on a combination of the two. And do not forget, my friends, one is never to old to dream, believe and achieve!
8) Be a mentor - Do all the things on this list and you've become one and didn't eve realize it. Mentoring doesn't need to be for a specific thing or a specific person or group, but just every day living. Lead by example - be the person you want others to be.
9) Learn and use people's names - Admittedly, I've had to work (and continue to do so) on this. There are all sorts of tricks and books and ideas on how to learn and use people's names, but the key thing - to me - is to simply do it. It's that thing of making another feel important and incredibly, we are all important.
10) Hold doors open - Yes. I am saying it. Hold the door open for someone else and allow someone else to hold the door open for you. It's polite. It has nothing to do with chivalry, political correctness, feminism, chauvinism, whatever march is currently going on, it's simply a nice thing to do.
So - I almost got up on the soap box, but stopped myself. That will be for another day.
Much love and happiness friends. Do something nice for yourselves and those around you. Your future self will thank you for it.
"Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success."
-- Henry Ford
I just listened to John McCain's farewell address to the nation as read by his ex-campaign manager. Let me be honest. This is not something I would normally do, but as I changed channels, I was compelled to stop and listen.
I rarely delve into politics with anyone, but this speech friends, was not about politics. It was about life and living one which you believe in and feel good about. The following are some of the things I heard and/or took away from his final words:
1) Be grateful. Always be grateful for the experiences you have had and will have throughout your life. Find things to be thankful for as it is in that gratitude that you will find acceptance of yourself and love for others.
2) Be gracious and kind. Do not tear down those around you. You don't have to agree with everyone all of the time, but we will not come together if we constantly tear one another apart. Listen to what is being said and be thoughtful in your response.
3) Be humble. Remember that each of us makes mistakes and that noone is perfect. Admit when we're wrong and learn from that. Move forward.
4) Be patient, but persistent. Always follow your dreams. Work hard. Do what you know to be right and keep pushing toward your goals.
There were so many other things and I may write about this topic again. We don't all agree all of the time, but that's one of the things that makes this such an amazing place to live. I hope that I can leave this world with such dignity and grace and promise having lived a life I'm proud of and letting those around me know how much they mean and have meant to me.
Do you remember your last massage? Has it been a while? Have you ever had one? Is it time to take some time for you - perhaps to relax - perhaps to feel better - perhaps as a preventative measure???
Did you know that massage is not just a luxury treatment? There are actual benefits (and I'm not just saying that cuz it's my job ;-0) Research continues to prove the various benefits of touch, triggering the medical community to actively embrace bodywork.
There are physical benefits including:
Massage can also help with emotional balance which may be just as vital and valuable as the physical benefits.
I quite often have people ask how often they should get a massage. My answer would be that it depends on the individual and their circumstance and condition. If working on something specific you may need/want to get massages more frequently and then work into a regular routine. As with most things, consistency is the key. I personally believe that every 4-6 weeks is a good rule of thumb for overall wellness and preventative measures. Listen to your body - it knows what you need.
Live your best life...
When I set up my website and blog under the author section it reads "Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview." Whew - cuz that's all I've got for the moment. I'm a pretty simple person who lives life lovingly. I care deeply and am passionate about many things. I have always had a spirit of (I'm going to call it) entrepreneurship so have been self-employed about as much as I've been employed by others. This is a place where I share thoughts, ideas and happenings. I'm finding that sharing my story (life) helps me as much or more than it helps others and I find that empowering. Keep doin' what you love and lovin' what you do! XO-KM